PHP Confessions

What was in my bag by evil erin

Last night on twitter I started this series based on the hashtag #PHPConfessions I’ve never gotten the order of arguments right for str_replace without checking first  #PHPConfessions   I’m always afraid I’ll be seated with the Perl people at programmer gatherings  #PHPConfessions   I like PHP because I like always having the option to blame my […]

Tax The Old

Picture of old people by All Chrome on Flickr

Productivity has skyrocketed in the past three decades, but all of the surplus has been captured by the top 1%. Wages have been flat. The workforce has lost a lot of leverage due to the cost savings of machines, labor competition with the third world and the migration of women into the workforce. All of […]

How To Do It

Woman programming a huge early computer

Perl There’s more than one way to do it Python There is one way to do it PHP I found a way to do it but it didn’t work. I’m just going to do it in WordPress ColdFusion You can do that? .NET There is one way to do it, but you can do it […]

Dreamhost is incompetent

This site was offline for three days due to the unbelievable incompetence of Dreamhost. There is no excuse for a company in the business of hosting websites to fail so miserably and so often. The reason for the outage is unclear, their infrequent updates would refer to different pieces of failing hardware. The backup server, […]

Two Player Game

When I was a kid my dad bought us a video game system for Christmas. This was in the early eighties — the height of the Atari era. We got a Coleco-vision. It came with Donkey Kong. We were lucky that it came with a game because there weren’t any other games available. Literally. The […]


A man crosses the street in rain, stepping gently, looking two times north and south, because his son is asleep on his shoulder. No car must splash him. No car drive too near to his shadow. This man carries the world’s most sensitive cargo but he’s not marked. Nowhere does his jacket say FRAGILE, HANDLE […]

Lying At The Barbershop

Photo of an old barbershop

The guy that usually cuts my hair wasn’t in today. I always wait for him when I go in. Not because he’s a particularly skillful barber, but because of an awkward moment that happened the first time I went to that barbershop. I had gone in for a haircut after a two year hiatus. For […]

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