|||Lessons in Household Maintenance|||

Lesson #1: A wet paper towel on the end of a stick is still a wet paper towel on the end of a stick, even if it is sold by clorox and costs 25 dollars.

Lesson #2: Ya know how drain cleaners tell you to flush the drain with water 15 minutes after you pour the stuff down the drain? Yeah, do that. Otherwise it’ll just melt the soap and hair and stuff into a paste and then dry it into a block of stuff.

Lesson #3: Refrigerators are designed to slow down the rate of decay in perishable foods by reducing the temperature of the foods. At lower temperatures, bacteria and what not take longer to make stuff fetid and creepy. Slow down is not a synonym with stop.