new computer arrived. remembering all the passwords, and where everything is installed and all the cryptic settings i prefer, and transfering files has begun.

this'll be awhile

- you can't have one.

- why not?

- where would you put it?

- in a tupperware bowl, on the counter, or under the bed.

- it'd suffocate.

- no, i'd leave the lid off.

- then, it would run away.

- no it wouldn't, it would love me and want to be with me forever.

- you can't catch one anyway.

- yes i can, they don't have anywhere to run.

- see those holes? they can run down there.

- they have to come out sometime, and i'll be waiting over the hole with a tupperware bowl.

- they'd bite you.

- their mouths are too small.

- your fingers aren't that big.

- i'd be too fast for him.

- he'd squirm.

- look, one's coming over here. c'mere little dogie.

- dogie's are cows.

- he's a prairie dogie not a cow, silly.

prairie dog: a small american rodent (cynomys ludovicianus) allied to the marmots. it inhabits the plains west of the mississippi. the prairie dogs burrow in the ground in large warrens, and have a sharp bark like that of a dog.

So the dryer i bought was electric, the one that arrived is gas. i guess that's ok, because i have fixtures for both and i think gas dries stuff faster or something. The problem is in installation. i think the delivery guys would have done that part for me, but i was missing a flex something or other, which i picked up at lowes today. i tried to put it on, but... well i'm not exactly sure how to do that. there's the gas line thing and a turny thing and the thing on the back of the dryer. i can figure out what goes where, but what about the gas? do i turn it on? what if it blows up? i'm looking on the whirlpool site for some tips.

Fixed up the story link to the left there. Not that you can tell, of course, but I made it easier to admin. The ""Story of the Day"" varies from day to day, now. Fixing up the loose ends here.

In other news, I bought a washer and dryer. I figure it will pay for itself in the first month or two, in money if not in time, and my Wash and Fold service will dearly miss me. I found an ad in the classifieds. It was placed by a strange little appliance company in Overland. I drove up there through the blistering promenade of Frontenac, across the fast food ghetto of Page Avenue and into the narrow streets of a declining suburb. The store was not exactly Home Depot. A collection of refurbished appliance vaguely lined up in a storefront. I told the ... well, i think he was salesman... that I wanted a washer and dryer. He pointed to the washer and dryer set in front of me. ""How about this one?"" He asked.

""Um... Ok, do you deliver?""

""Sure, I'll bring it over tomorrow.""

""Ok.""

And I wrote a check.

I'm not exactly the world's savviest shopper.

It's not that bad a deal I guess. About 200 bucks for a refurbished Whirlpool super capacity set and a six month warranty.

When I got home I called the cable company. Again. I've spoken to them at least 10 times in the last two weeks. Again, nothing works. My menu doesn't come up, if i change the volume it changes the channel as well, the off button is more of reboot button (just turns it off and back on.) A cable guy is coming out here tomorrow. Maybe he'll help me set up my washer and dryer too.

5:00 am

beep beep beep...

huh?

beep beep beep...

i look at the alarm clock. it's off, it's always off - where am i going?

beep beep beep...

it's muffled, seems to be coming from the window... no, from the wall. my neighbors bedroom! the one right next to my head.

beep beep beep...

well, they must be gone this weekend. forgot to turn off the alarm. it's ok, alarms usually go off by themselves after twenty minutes right?

beep beep beep...

or is it an hour?

beep beep beep...

i look out the window, are there lights on in there? no.

beep beep beep...

i walk outside. it's freezing out here. i think about knocking on the door. but i just moved here last week. not the best way to meet the neighbors, half naked, hair all einsteiny, no glasses or contacts so i'm basically blind...

beep beep beep...

i go downstairs and curl up on the futon. it's quiet. so quiet

(very very lightly) beep beep beep...

i can still hear it.

beep beep beep...

i put a pillow over my head

beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep...

It's been nice... but we've moved.

Go here and you'll be happy.

it's pretty.

so this is whole site is still in the build and stare mode, in case you happen upon it...

i'm moving this week, so i haven't had much time for navel gazing and ranting.

why don't you look at this while you wait

I've moved!

In more ways than one at that...

First - I've moved to a new condo. You can see it and rejoice here.

also, i've moved to a new personal website. That, my friends, you can see here.

that's it for this diary... the blog has taken over.

""Perfect love casts out fear..."" Inversely then, fear casts out love. It's fear that keeps us from loving others. Fear of our own unlovableness, fear of rejection, fear of what we might do if given half a chance...

""Love your neighbor as you love yourself."" Inversely then, love yourself as much as you love others. Be as compassionate, understanding and forgiving of yourself as you are to those around you. It's the lack of loving ourselves that stands in the way of being truly compassionate and kind to others more often than not. That principal self-loathing, the sending your soul to the woodshed is what spends our emotional energy and leaves us bitter and angry.

What is love? ""Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.""

And another thing, Love is very hard work, quite possibly the hardest work that man can do.

mornin'. my schedule is fluctuating wildly. i tend to get over focused at night and end up working until morning. which means i sleep until the afternoon. which means i have a half dozen messages when i get up.

unless, like today, the messages wake me up. then i drag myself out of bed, work thru the moderate store of energy my sleeping provided and then hit a wall after lunch and end up staring at the wall for minutes at a time.

What a weekend. The client had a bad credit card in his registrar account, which caused the domain to expire. Luckily it was locked by the registrar so it was not snatched up by a ruthless domain hijacker. We reactivated it, but well, we've got a good 48 hours to sit and wait for propogation as 20 - 30 thousand in sales float away. That's not a good thing.

Ok, here's a good thing... bought a new computer. Pentium 4 3.06 gig with 1gig of memory and a 120 gig HD etc etc etc. Haven't had a decent machine since... well, never. The computer I'm on right now still has parts bought in 97. Still want a mac - but that'll be someday...

In less good news, my dog died. I've had her since I was 10 years old. I'm 25 now. She was a year old when we got her. That's a 16 yr old dog. So it wasn't unexpected, she had been falling down a lot the last few months. The vet said she had a brain disease, or possibly a stroke, that caused her to lose her sense of balance and direction. For the last couple of days she kept walking in circles, collapsing and forgeting where the door was, her dish was and so on. She had taken to sitting in front of the window staring at the trees while bobbing her head to one side. The vet said that the bobbing head was a sign of the disease. It's like she had just jumped off a merry-go-round and the world was still spinning. Constantly. So it seemed best to let her go. Requisat in Pace, Pookie.

Back to good news; I've put the down payment on my new condo. It's a gorgeous three story townhouse like thing with a finished basement for my office, couple of bedrooms, a huge kitchen with a *gas* stove (thank god for gas stoves.) The best thing is the location. It's a block away from downtown Kirkwood. Kirkwood is a quaint little town in St.L suburbia full of little shops and restaurants. I can walk to the corner store, barbecue in my little garden and paint in the basement. joy.